Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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