You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
