so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Randomize
