Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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