I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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