we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
