either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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