the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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