If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
