I think I am morally bankrupt
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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