what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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