That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
