I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
