Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
