Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
someone get that fucking seahorse.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
