Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
