There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
