hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
