Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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