She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
