Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
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