her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
