Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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