Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
