Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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