her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
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