I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
