is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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