I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
