THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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