take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
