Sponge bath it is.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize