Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im holly from the hills drunk
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
