Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
