Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize