I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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