Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
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