I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
