if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
