The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I cockslap morals
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
