Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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