either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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