laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
