nut hugger
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I understand Curling. That high.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
