Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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