I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
