we have officially lost it.
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
