She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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