it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
