pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
