New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize