Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
