Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
