My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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