You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
