Having a random hookup so left but love u
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
In America we eat man semen.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
