dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
please come you make the beer taste better
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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