So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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