smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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