Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
