Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
