Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize