i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
