in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
