It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
